My dad is having out patient surgery today and for some reason I am just a bundle of jittery nerves over it.
My mom, sadly, has out patient surgery, biopsies and tests all the time. She's got a laundry list of ailments and is living a very hard life. When she has one of her procedures, I am nervous, but not like today.
I wonder if it is because my dad is rarely sick. I wonder if I put more stake in his health, since mom's is always so suspect. I wonder if it is because it is eye surgery and I find anything about the eyes to be wiggy and disturbing. He has to be awake for it, I think I would personally come unglued at that prospect.
My dad's poor eyes have been through a lot. He's worked outside all of his life, in one form of construction or another. The eye they are working on has had glass, metal and wood shards in at one time or another. (Wood is the worst FYI.) It was also struck by a high pressure water washer wand (like at the do it yourself car washes) at one point. The fact that he still has vision in it is amazing. He also has early stage glaucoma and the scar tissue doesn't allow for that eye to release pressure properly. So the procedure they are doing is putting in an artificial shunt/blister to relieve and release pressure.
Surgery was scheduled for 9am, but he was the second surgery of the day. I traded texts back in forth with the sister on duty (mine, not a nun) at 10:30am and they had just taken him back to get him prepped. I am at work, at lunch at the moment, wishing I had taken the day off because for some reason I'm going bonkers. Not to say I want to be at the hospital going bonkers with my sister and mom, but it would be nice to be going bonkers in private and not have to attempt to get some work done.
Sigh....I wish sis would text.....I can't shake or downsize this unease at all.